I was just doing the dishes the old fashioned way in a bowl with hot soapy water,when my hand came across a soaked soapy piece of cling film.It must have been discarded on one of the plates and ended up in the washing bowl.
As I squashed my hands around the squidgy mess it reminded me (SQUEAM ALERT) of a used condom.As I held it up out of the soapy water I couldn’t help but give it a squeeze.Yes ,indeed the soapy fluid moved from one end to another.
So along with the “it’s only a slither of carrot,goldfish eating prank’. We have the OMG,it’s a used condom prank.
This could have many uses for potential pranks,my favourite would be leaving the said soapy cling film in the guest bedroom bed and seeing if they mention it,or indeed how they dispose of it.
We’re on holiday in Cornwall.We came back from a seven mile circular walk which included the Saint’s Trail to Perranporth,through the sand dunes and back up to Sunny Meadows campsite where we are staying.
We left at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and arrived back at 7pm.We were hungry,so we popped out to the local shop and bought the ingredients for Meatballs and pasta in a tomato sauce.
I enjoyed cooking them and though my legs got stiffer as the evening went on, we needed sustenance and once we were able to sit down and eat,it was the best feeling in the World.
We spent the rest of the evening reading and tidying up and nodding off before bedtime.Good Day.
What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?
Is holding a gun to my head and shooting me; a personality trait.It’s the capability and the lack of remorse that is a red flag and I would know if someone has this capability wouldn’t I?
Otherwise, personality traits don’t bother me.As we all develop them and hopefully learn to give each other space.
If I had the time and was a talented artist,I would use the words in my title to make a picture of Clarkson drinking his cider(in the Coop) and looking miserable. Why, indeed has he decided to become a pub landlord?
Whatever,but I suppose I’ll just have to make do with this picture and its’ subtitle.
Jeremy was here
He’s already banned three public figures from his pub,but for what reason?
Simply because he does not agree with them.This is not a good enough reason to ban someone and I’m sure Clarkson knows that,but he’s doing it because he can,it’s a headline that fits his purpose. He has the money and the name to throw these wild punches,and he has a lot of people who listen to him.
I really can’t imagine an ideal week,too much can happen in a week An ideal minute yes,for good things have a momentary taste,an instantaneous celebration and then a warm glow
It’s a given,the warm glow may last all week,but there’s no guarantee.
Perhaps a week with a warm glow would be ideal,but I don’t idolise ideals.Just like perfection,idealism is a kind of hedonism which just doesn’t fit with my outlook on life.
Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.
To all intents and purposes the then plain Mary Peters was a true amateur athlete who worked at her day job while training to take on the World in what was then a very troubled Northern Ireland
Nowadays her amazing achievements,the pinnacle of which,was a Gold Medal in the Women’s Pentathlon at the Munich Olympics in 1972 could only be achieved by a professional full-time athlete.
Perhaps ,Mary herself knew this ,as in her adopted home of Northern Ireland she started a foundation that promotes sports talent by funding future stars,Rory McIlroy being one of the foundations alumni.
Nevertheless,as an amateur she was professional in her approach and as I remember a shining example to everyone of how to behave as a Sports Personality.
Surely the true meaning of a professional is bringing success to others and through her endeavours and no doubt in very difficult circumstances in Northern Ireland she has persisted in being a beacon of light and inspiration to everyone in whatever their field.
Relaxing and Breathing are so much part of my everyday life that I am actually a windbag.
Sometime in my development,I learned how not to breathe.My lungs would never fill and I became a tense,nervous child.
It took me to my adulthood to experience the magic of stopping and having a breather.
I suppose I must have picked up a book and read some advice on breathing properly and discovered the benefits, of feeling fresh air flowing deep into my lungs,
It’s what we are meant to do. It’s the basic building block to refresh and energise and make ready for whatever task lies ahead.
Savour it and enjoy it and take your time to breathe.
If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?
Tired
The one word I would remove from my regular spoken vocabulary is tired as I very often use it as an excuse to shut down whatever I’m feeling or to stop me having to make an effort.
We ,nowadays, are rarely tired.Being genuinely tired and being able to rest is a lovely feeling.
More often than not we use being tired as an excuse to avoid effort,sometimes the effort to keep a relationship alive or to complete a task we see as being repetitive and boring.
The joke is very much on me,because when I do whatever I’m supposed to do and think through the problem or challenge,I always feel good.
I will say to myself I’m too tired to do this,but inevitably I’m not,inevitably it’s just worth getting on and doing something,
I even did it while writing just now,while trying to think about what I really wanted to say.I closed my eyes and said to myself.
“It’s late,I’m tired”
When I closed my eyes,my brain wouldn’t let me sleep,so I continued.
Albert sat and stared out of the window of the Community Centre. He was thinking of everything that had happened over the last few weeks
“It would have been better if it had been gold.Gold he could have given away or sold,but the plants and soil,well that’s what caused the trouble.” He half mumbled to himself and continued to stare out of the window at the desolation.
He’d lost his garden. He and the others in the street where he used to live had been put up in temporary accommodation in the Centre due to the riots and vandalism.
The noise of the Police sirens had stopped and now it was up to the army to patrol the area.He watched as the men dressed in khaki combat gear walked around with their SLR rifles at the ready.
Ocassionally a troop carrier would trundle along,dropping off reinforcements and collecting any injured soldiers.For now it was quiet,but no one knew when it would start again.
The crop that Albert had grown in his garden,from seeds he had spent some years cross fertilising with and mixing and matching hybrids with his chosen origin plant
The origin plant he had obtained mail order from a Website called “The Diviner of Deighties”.The site specialised in unusual plants and the origin plant Albert chose was advertised as a therapeutic mallow,used for softening the skin and reducing wrinkles. That was the start of his quest for the Elixir of Life.
A quest that resulted in a final bloom,part orchid,rose,geranium and candelua and some herbs from ancient Egypt and some old spices from a remote region of the palmali hills in India called Kalmasi.
He wished now that he hadn’t bothered It had been for his old mum’s sake.Firstly to stop her ageing and latterly to help her live longer.He hadn’t wanted to lose her,but lose her he did.
Once people had found out his secret,that was the end.The ingredients and his land were taken from him.The Government did not want people living forever or at least that is what they had told him.
Albert knew his discovery would be kept for those who were privileged,maybe it wouldn’t be for just the super rich,but those that were chosen .The elite, those who were in power and who were born to be in charge.
He comforted himself with the fact that living forever was not all it was cracked up to be.He focused his eyes on the darkness,there were people out there,figures in the dark,hoping to get to his garden.Find the rare plants he had grown and take samples of the soil,which the spreading folklore had said were part of the Elixir,but which he knew to be absolute nonsense.
He had seen a programme on the Google box by Brian Cox,a famous scientist who had said that the world would end as a fireball and Albert had stopped taking the Elixir himself, it wasn’t natural,why live forever just to end up being blown apart in a fireball.It made no sense.
Rumours had circulated that there were spores in the soil which were self-generating and once you introduced them into the ecosystem they would perpetually produce the life giving Elixir
That was why the Government had told him,him and his neighbours would have to move.It was when the private JCB diggers arrived en masse and they destroyed his and the surrounding gardens that the army arrived to restore order.
Samples of soil stolen during those raids , were claimed to contain Elixir spores.The samples now sold for a fortune on the internet. All they were soil samples and heavens know where from.There were no spores.
The plants did exist however,but they’d all been put in quarantine by the Government.Albert would have to change his name and identity,once he escaped from the Community Centre where he and his neighbors had taken refuge.
There was though ,a concern that he would not be able to escape He could be captured and made to give up the formula for the Elixir.The Government were trying to stop this,but there was no way they could control the situation which had escalated beyond their control,despite their promises.
Suddenly,through the window Albert saw a flash of light. He knew what it meant.The plants were safe somewhere,but there were forces afield to make sure the Elixir formula would not get into anyone else’s hands.
thenotsomightyom 