Futbol!

I am learning Castilian Spanish for fun, and with the app I use they have a facility through messenger for me to have an AI conversation. This one “What League do I follow” , made me laugh out loud , so I copied it and hand wrote(shockingly low tech) it out and reproduce it here.

Firstly being about Futbol and what Team I follow ( I don’t), but a subject most of the male population are passionate about , it’s probably the number one male bonding topic of conversation in both work and play, not to mention the endless games of Fantasy Football League that amuse and frustrate our football fan’s competitive natures.

Forgive my Spanish mistakes and I translate as best I can. Imagine I’m sitting alone in a Spanish Bar nursing my white wine and nibbling at my tapas and one of the old soaks for want of anything better to do, starts up a conversation with me and I in return make a desperate attempt at conversation with limited vocabulary and wayward grammar.

Qué liga sigues? ( What league/team do you follow?)

(Proudly lying) Mi equipo es Barcelona ( My team is Barcelona)

Crees que el Barcelona ganará la liga esta temporada? ( Do think Barcelona will win the league this season?)

No en mi vida, ellos son demasiado perezosos! ( Not on my life , they are too lazy)

Entonces quién crees que ganará. ( Then who do you think will win?)

Probalamente Madrid,quieres liga sigues? ( Probably Madrid, what league do you follow?)

Sigo la Premier League, principalmente soy fan del Manchester City. ( I follow the English Premier League, I am mainly a fan of Manchester City)

A si ellos están despedidos su jefe equipo elloos no ganan, muchos juegos.( Oh yes they are firing their team manager, they are not winning games)

De verdad crees que tiene mas posiblidades que el City? ( Truthfully you believe they have better odds than City)

Sí porque ellos tienen menos enfermos porque el clima es mejor en Madrid. (Yes because they have fewer sick players because the weather is better in Madrid)

Pero el City tiene una plantilla más fuerte y mejor fórma,crees? ( But City has a stronger squad and better from don’t you think?)

Sí, pero todos tienen la gripe y ellos beben mucho y bailan a las fiestas. ( Yes but everyone has flu and they drink a lot and dance at parties.)

Pero no crees que se recuperaron pronto?( But don’t you think they will bounce back soon?)

Possibalamente pero ellos tienen tanto mas dinero , no necesitan jugar al futbol. ( Possibly but they have so much money, they don’t need to play football)

No ellos siempre darán motivitado a los juegos menores. ( No they always motivate themselves for the minor games)

Que pasa con su defensa, entonces. No crees que podria ser un problema? ( What about their defence though? Don’t you think it could be an issue?)

No ellos están chicos grandes, muchos fuertes. ( No they are big boys, very strong)

Pero qué pasa si se encuentran a un equipo de ataque fuerte?( But what if they face a strong attacking team?)

Ellos serán invincibles. ( They will be invincible)

Pero realmente pueden mantenerlo todo la temporada?( But can they really keep it up all season?)

( I take a big gulp of wine and smile.)

The End ( I hope you enjoyed)

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Education

Name the most expensive personal item you’ve ever purchased (not your home or car).

Recently ,we have all begun to see education is becoming an expensive item.

There are all sorts of fees,subscriptions and hidden charges such as for accommodation and travel and exclusions which can have great personal cost.(such as not allowing the education of certain groups)

The interests and needs of Education  are personal to everyone and  should be everyone’s  right.

It is the most expensive item  both in time and monetary terms that I have invested in myself and continue to do so.

I wish the same opportunity for everyone.

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Solo Listener Podcasts

What podcasts are you listening to?

I’m hooked on exclusivity,so I look for something new all the time.It’s now nigh impossible to be the only listener and find something original.

I will keep on trying though.Hearing  that unique voice with nuggets of wisdom that light the soul and aren’t part of the Social Media clamber to be a big number .

Mind you it has to be interesting and make me laugh,so when I find one it tends to get popular and I stop listening.

.

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Dancing

What was your favorite subject in school?

My favourite subject at school was Physical Education or P.E. for short.

I loved all the sports,running,hockey,football,badminton and volleyball

I even liked the bane of every schoolboys life

“Ballroom Dancing”

However ,my joy was short lived when the most handsome P.E teacher in the school  chose me as a partner to demonstrate a step and I discovered he had really bad breath

I squirmed my way through the steps and halitosis.

It was a valuable lesson in life, never assume the good looking ones have high personal  hygiene standards.

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How do I manage Screen Time

How do you manage screen time for yourself?

I could never manage screen time as wonderfully as great actresses like Joan Crawford and Bette Davis.They were women who took an extremely misogynic system and fought tooth and nail successfully  to achieve status and stardom.

So allocating myself screen time on my various  devices is a doddle and can be summarised as Just Say No.

Screen time does  not hold the key to everything,just like going to the gym for 8 hours a day will  result  in you straining something.

Accept you are tired and need a break,whether it be a regenerative sleep or a brisk walk in the rain.

Namaste

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Time doesn’t wait.

Do you need time?

Time waits for no man( or woman) is one of my favourite sayings. A vision of a timely schoolteacher with a clipboard in hand regarding his errant pupils with despair as the clock reaches the time when the  classes will start comes to mind.

Tempus Fugit is a Latin phrase translated to English as “Time Flies”.Apparently there are loads of gravestones around the World who have engraved on them an egg timer with wings. Talk about rubbing the fact in that time has run out.Strewth.

Finally,time is ethereal and possibly unfairly blamed or defined by humanity. While writing this piece my time  has passed enjoyably and I like to  think productively . Yet some would regard me as wasting time.The laugh is on them.

Time doesn’t wait, but at the same time, time  in itself is of value in that it measures a period. The user of the time determines what  happens  within  that time period. Thus we need time as a measure,but our use of time should not be defined purely in terms of use to others ,but also more importantly to ourselves.

If we feel our time is useful and we enjoy measuring it,why not? In reality external forces to us do the measuring and it is up to us to decide  if we value that measure or the actual time. So we do need time,but I’m not so sure about the measure.

Namaste.

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Totally Grungey

What will your life be like in three years?

My life if it still exists will be totally Grungey,but in a good sort of Nirvana (without the sad end of Kurt Cobain) and without the David Grohl affirmation of being an ex-Nirvana bandmate.

I will probably have a favourite jumper which I will wear every day for three years in a Kurt  scruff style.Except I will fool everyone by having two identical ones,so I won’t be smelly as one will always be in the wash.

Of course not being as as beautiful as Kurt, will be a drawback,but I will keep everyone guessing.

I will have deep emotional thoughts and generally hold my hands up to those in authority and say “enough” in a vague sort of way ,that will puzzle them but they won’t be able to ignore me because by then I will have garnered interest amongst many in the World,whose lives have been grunged by  fools whose values I  very much disdain.

As I say,the only bummer is that these reprobate leaders will have ruined everything and destroyed the planet.

If I survive though; the fact that I live simply and give a damn will stop those unhinged egotists in their tracks.

RIP Kurt Cobain,but Nirvana lives on and perhaps in three years  the World  will be closer to attaining it.

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The White Room

Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.

I arrived at the white room by teleport, scanning a barcode which put my location and body mass details in.From the centre of Birmingham England,I was transported to aThe White Room.

In The White Room my holiday began.

My thoughts decided what I would  do.

My first thought,I would like to go for a swim in a warm water sea with no sharks or jellyfish.

One of the white walls became a patio window which looked out onto a beautiful white sand beach.My clothes changed and I was in a very attractive full swimsuit and flip flops.My skin was moist with very expensive sun tan lotion and my hair was tied up with a rainbow coloured scrunch.

I walked slowly into the beach and down to the waters edge.I looked back at the patio,it was still there.

I walked thigh deep into the water and bent my knees and stretched my arms out and felt the warmth of the blue sea embrace my body as I floated away.

I swam for ages and eventually I returned to the White Room.Whatever thoughts or wishes I had made  my ideal holiday  and they all happened.The proviso being they did no harm to any living thing(that was in the terms and conditions).

I had a wonderful holiday and of course did not want it to end. Dreaming of the next. Until next year.

What would you ask from the White Room? All holidays are good for you,and it is worth thinking carefully about them,to maximise your enjoyment.

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The Cool Cat Website

What are your favorite websites?

Some say favourite websites are like race horses,there  are a few winners and lots of losers.

So there’s only one website I’m totally addicted to,and gets many hits from me a day.

“The Cool Cat Website”

Forget Instagram,Google and Facebook. For your  cat picture  fix  go to “The Cool Cat Website”.

Cute Cats,Funny Cats,Kittens and even a few of the Big Cats , the choice is endless and the picture quality and navigation is outstanding.

If you love Cats of all shapes and sizes,you should give it a click.Every click benefits a Cat Rescue Welfare Organisation.It’s a win ,win for cats.

Lots of useful advice too on looking after your cat ,food,fashion,behaviour and the latest cat toys and carriers.

My apologies ,you must excuse me ,I have to go ,I’m in need of some Cat Therapy. Click.

Namaste

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Re-living is against Nature.

Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

No,I would not like to re-live any time in my current life.

Regrets are pointless and surely the challenges we face each day and how we deal with them is something we should celebrate.

The animal world lives in the moment and so should we. Time is not a painting that can be retouched.

Goodnight and may your God go with  you.

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