#HeadlineTherapy

Inn bans arrogant camper van visitors

Disclaimer:Yes ,I know Camper Van owners  are on the whole a lovely bunch, particularly the ones with small retro vans and the VW owners who are a pretty handy bunch having got used to their pride and joy breaking down regularly on the motorway……but….

Maybe it’s a brand thing, have you seen the size of some of those up market Pilote campervans.They’re just a large living room ,bedroom ,bathroom and kitchen stuck on a set of double axle wheels.

Very often bought for an early retirement plan, to travel to Europe and live somewhere cheap,the novelty soon wears off and the cost of diesel becomes prohibitive.

So it’s  tour  Britain  time, and things just aren’t as fine and dandy as they were a year ago when they originally set off.

The loving couple are at each other’s throats, the weather is rubbish and neither  wants to do any of the chores to do with maintenance and hygiene.The shower has broken, silted up from all the hard water.

Add to that the price of pitches have trebled and there is a  charge for waste disposal. So you find this nice hotel which is quiet off season and they allow you to park up.

Only one problem, though they want your custom for drinks and meals ,they don’t have all the facilities of a proper campsite.No septic tank,just a nearby river.You are stuck, the toilet is about to overflow,there are accusations of  laziness and good for nothing.

Your last bit of cash has been spent on a pub meal with no drinks as you have a stash of cheap wine from your last trip to France.You drank too much of it last night and your wife was sick on the Hotel’s patio and sitting area.You blame the food.

Still there are burgers and sausages in the freezer compartment of the fridge,which as you have no electricity and need to save your diesel for the trip home,you need to use up.This has another benefit both of you need to sober up for the journey home.Stodgey food will help.

The good lady cheers up and finds a nice spot behind the hotel protected from the breeze and starts their extravagant gas barbecue, which thankfully still has some gas left in the bottle.

The burgers are half cooked and the sausages cremated when a young man comes running towards the lady at speed, pointing at the hotels own gas storage area.There is panic in his face and then the manager appears.

Breakfast is ruined, everything has to be turned off and nasty words are exchanged. It doesn’t help that the manager looks foreign and despite the couple’s original wish to travel and see the World, they retort that he should go back to where he came from.The kitchen? He replies politely.

The Camper door is slammed and as they drive away an open rubbish bag thrown from the window .Which of course is blown to all four corners of the hotel car park.

So that ,my friend, is how the dream of the open road  sometimes goes.

Beware….