Thank you to ITV News for the Headline
Sad to say we have moved on from mud ridden Santa’s Grottos and overly thin reindeers needing a good worming treatment wandering around waiting to be petted with no hand washing facilities and the risk of e-coli infections ever present.
Ah yes, Commercial Christmas’s answer to making a quick buck has moved on. We now have what could be , if well orchestrated a wonderful show that would make everyone’s eyes light up in the glow of LED’s . Ginormous reindeers filling the sky with red noses , followed by Giant Snowman floating across the stratosphere and a soundtrack bellowing out the story to bring it all together. How wondrous, what could go wrong in a field in Sussex?
Well quite a lot actually, basically a lot of the drones failed to work, so the light display looked like few LED’s randomly moving through the sky; the display was like nothing really ;and so detached from the deep masculine voice generating the obviously digitised soundtrack, as to make no sense at all to the parents , never mind the poor freezing children standing in the mud and wondering why they hadn’t stayed at home and watched “Frozen” on their bedroom television.
Guilt ridden parents headed for the food outlets , only to find that they were vastly over priced and of inferior quality to what they could make at home.
Anyway by that time the children were demonstrating their lack of faith in their parents choices and screaming to go home.
Even the promised visit to Santa at his Grotto was a disappointment. Santa didn’t seem very enthusiastic to be associated with this bunch of amateurs and actually seemed quite curt. The presents he gave out, for the £20 cost of the ticket , were left unopened and given to their mothers to carry. Santa had said it couldn’t be opened until Christmas Day.
Understandably the parents were suspicious and sneakily checked what it was, a £5 bit of cheap plastic in the guise of a tractor, made in China .It would be best thrown out as the paint(probably lead) was peeling off and those bolts were a choking hazard. The parents thought about which rubbish bin it would go in, plastics or metals and if disposing of lead paint was allowed. Perhaps they would have to ring the Council.
The promised Christmas Market had been cancelled and for that the Parents were incredibly grateful, but the children kicked off as they had been given “pennies” to spend by their Grandparents and there was nowhere to spend them and they were never doing this again and what a waste of time it was. The Parents had to agree, but were very hurt when they said that “Johnny and Maggie’s parents had taken them on a trip to Lapland to see the real Santa, ride on a horse and play in the snow”. Thanks Mum and Dad.
And so everyone went home and hoped they could claim a refund for the” Christmas Disaster.” The older children retreated to their bedrooms, and the younger ones did the usual of getting their nappies changed or sitting on their potties and once ready for bed having a story read to them. Tomorrow the baby would have a slight cough which would turn into a full blown cold which would last a week and would make preparing for Christmas relatives “difficult”. The thought of chasing a refund for the “Disaster ” was paling into insignificance.
Such is the expectations and disappointments of Christmas. Still it is the make or break time for “Seasonal Business”, don’t worry it will soon be January.
Namaste and Thank You for reading. 🙏
NB If you haven’t guessed already I use the images generated by AI, and I must admit this one is a little bit scary , but obviously a poorly lit drone show is not yet in AI’s digital memory bank.
thenotsomightyom 