How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?
Sad to say I think humanity relies too much on their visual instincts. This reliance on what we see can dull other very important senses. The animal kingdom knows this well and must sometimes look at humanity and throw their various limbs in the air.
Still inevitably I am human and I want you (as in the whole world) to seem me in my best light. Thus my narcisstic nature will come to the fore. I will please your eye and my self-love will be like a stun gun of visionary pleasure.
My name is important. It is Narcisstica. My flower is Narcissus and you can smell me before you see me.
Namaste and thank you for reading, may your omnipotent being go with you.
What do you mean if? Well I have my own little dinosaur I hatched from an egg I found in the garden. It was a large egg and I’ve no idea how it landed there. It was still warm, so I thought it best to keep it warm and put it in the shed wrapped up in a fleecy blanket.
A few months later the egg hatched and here is a picture of Rupert. I’m not sure what type of dinosaur he is but we are both very used to each other. It’s been trial and error looking after him, but so far so good.
Yes, he does eat meat and it tends to be raw from the butcher. I discourage him from hunting, but I have noticed that the cats that used to frequent my garden are no longer there, either through fear, or perhaps Rupert’s natural instincts.
Rupert is not trainable , but he is actually very timid and won’t leave the garden. Which makes my life so much easier, he has his toys and he doesn’t need walked like a dog. It’s a long garden , so he has plenty of room to run around when he takes the notion, he likes to chase the birds but never catches them. His hopping motion is really funny to watch. I don’t think he’d survive by himself.
He’s three years old now, and the neighbours have got used to his occasional roaring. I’ve had advice from the local zoo, who say he really isn’t that dissimilar to a bearded dragon or a gecko, just bigger. I’ve filled in all the necessary forms for DEFRA, who are totally stumped with classifying him , so don’t bother. As far as there concerned if he stays in my garden then that’s fine.
I’ve ignored the media frenzy and despite being offered pot loads of money, I won’t subject Rupert to all that nonsense, he’s a sensitive soul and I just want him to enjoy his garden, his toys and his food.
The one drawback is dinosaur poo. You don’t want to be near a dinosaur with an upset stomach. Cow’s milk does not agree with him and although when he was a baby I fed him on it and he thrived . Now , he still likes the taste of it , and it’s a disaster when he raids the fridge in the house and drinks his fill. Projectile poo covering twenty metres of lawn and you better hope you’re not standing nearby when that happens. The smell is unbelievable.
Otherwise, on the right diet of raw meat and leafy vegetables, he’s fine and in truth his poos are no problem to clear up with a wheelbarrow and spade. Great for the plants as manure.
Anyway so I’m sure I’m not the only one who has hatched a dinosaur egg, maybe one day I’ll find a mate for my Rupert. I hope so.
Namaste and thank you for reading, may your omnipotent being go with you.
The man at the airport , said that the two free tickets were mine if I put the little package in my suitcase.
I know , I know it was silly , I shouldn’t have believed him or trusted him. It was just such a small thing to do and to be honest I had only came to the airport as I’d found a tube ticket on the ground that took me to Heathrow. I just planned to look at the planes and people watch.
So there I was with the little package in my pocket and instructions to pick up the tickets from the Emirates desk. I had explained to the rather shifty looking man that I had to go and get my suitcase and a few clothes from home as well as my passport and that as I had no money , could he give me a tenner.
I made my way back home , guarding the package as if it held the crown jewels. I couldn’t help but think that it was very generous of the man to give me a tenner.
And then it struck me , the man was up to no good, he was using me as a mule, probably a drug mule. So I didn’t go home , I went straight to the Police Station, the funny package in hand and explained to them what had happened.
I’m pleased to say they believed me , so I filled in the necessary forms and handed over the package to them. What happened after that , I will never know.
Is there a lesson to this, well I suppose there are lots, but two come to mind, trust no one and we need friendly Police Stations.
Namaste and thank you for reading may your omnibeing go with you.
thenotsomightyom 